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If you’re stumbling upon this post, it’s likely you have a travel bucket list of some kind.
In 2018, I decided to travel solo for a year, and spent the majority of my time in Asia and some time in Europe. In my last blog I explain how I made that long trip possible while spending under $10,000—click here to read more about that!
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By the end of my year abroad, I decided that I would write a book about my experience, to explain the realities of travel, as well as what we can gain from it.
Today I’m sharing an excerpt of a thought I had while comparing my outlook on travels compared to a friend of mine that I was traveling with at the time.
At this point in the story, I’m in Zaragoza, Spain, and enjoying the sparkly night lights of the cathedral while sipping wine in the park.
For reference, my friend and I had been traveling through Spain together for about a week at this point, and the month before had spent some time together in Germany.
Both of us had been to India before. I had spent two months there earlier that year, and him just over a week.
Below is the excerpt from my memoir!
His Bucket List and Mine
“So tell me, Danika.” Evan’s pause jolts me into focus. “What places in Switzerland do you think I should check out before I tick Switzerland off my list?”
“Well, I guess Lauterbrunnen was the most stunning,” I start, “but my favorite places were around Appenzell where my dad’s from. That’s biased, though.”
I never related to this mindset of ticking places off a bucket list or trying to see as many cities or places as possible when I travel to a new country. Of course, some places in the past I was set on seeing, like hiking in the Amazon or up to Machu Picchu. But to simply cross a place off a bucket list is too black and white and contrary to what travel is for me.
I prefer to travel slowly. I might end up drinking hot rice wine with Nepali villagers or witnessing a chicken sacrifice in India. Wherever I go, it’s the degree to which I can connect to the place and the people that truly fill my travels with color.
Evan and I joked earlier back in Berlin about how strange it was that I spent two months in Bangalore.
“I was in India only for ten days, and I saw more of India than you did in two months!” he laughed.
I laughed, too, because it was true. He had covered a lot more distance and had seen many more cities and towns than I had. But of the places he saw and the people he met, how deeply did he connect with them? Did his heart ache like mine did when he left?
One of my favorite travel memoirs is Full Tilt, by Dervla Murphy. She’s worlds more badass than myself. I can only dream of being as cool as her. Her book recounts her journey from Ireland to India on a bicycle. She pedals across endless deserts, scales snowy summits, and finds herself in love with the generous village people across Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Aside from her admirable feats, what I remember most from the story is when she encounters a few tourists in a city who she claims appear to be “moving away” instead of “moving toward.” Murphy describes the tourists as seeming to be running away from something, constantly in a rush to find the next exciting destination or place.
Connecting the Bucket List to Murphy's Ideas
To me, Murphy’s description of moving away while traveling is a good description of Evan’s case. He always seemed to be on a mission to visit as many countries and places as possible, moving as quickly as he could (or as fast as hitchhiking would allow). He aims to tick off most places from his bucket list in Europe this year. But why he feels the need to complete this bucket list, I don’t know.
I can’t deny there are places in the world I still want to see. I dream of witnessing the wildebeest migration in the Serengeti and picture myself learning to tango on the streets of Argentina. But I know there will be a lot more to my experiences than I can imagine. I’m in no hurry to see the entire world. I don’t want to rush from place to place based on a list. I want to move toward a fulfilling experience. I want travel to continuously expand my perspective of the world around me and myself.
As I tell Evan about the places I visited in Switzerland, I keep in mind the ones that might not mean much to him but were worth every second to me. The more I think logically about us, the more I sway toward the conclusion that we’re incompatible. Just as I struggled to find a balance between my mom’s expectations and my dad’s influence, I’m stuck between my heart that still wants Evan desperately, and my mind that knows he’s not worth it.
Traveling with Intention
What bothers me about bucket list ticking and scratch maps is that people often seem to be in some kind of rush to travel and see a place, rather than focusing on how deeply they can experience what any one of them has to offer.
Both the ideas of conquering a list of countries, and the strange quest to “find yourself” seem like only superficial things to acquire. I believe he real value that one can gain from traveling, especially traveling solo, is how you change to become a better person for society and the people around you—not just for yourself.
Traveling brings to consider new normals, it forces you to endure discomforts, and it allows to become more openminded.
Adaptability, resilience, open-mindedness, and tolerance—these are the ways in which we truly grow for the better after experience life on the other side of the globe. These are the topics that I will be discussing in my memoir, as I share how traveling solo upended my view on happiness and success and how I might find it myself.
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Thanks so much for reading, and I wish you all the best on your future adventures!
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Much love,
Danika
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