Skip to content 
Today I’m going to introduce you to some of the themes in my travel memoir “Why Not?”.
In 2018, I decided to travel solo for a year, and spent the majority of my time in Asia and some time in Europe. In my last blog I explain how I made that long trip possible while spending under $10,000—click here to read more about that!
Later during that year, I decided that I would write a book about my experience, to explain the realities of travel, as well as what we can gain from it.
Before I share the excerpt, I want to give you some background on what happened to me just before that point…
I was in the middle of my journey getting to the Bornean highlands, which required several smaller flights. The last stop over was overnight, and I assumed I would be able to camp out in the airport like every other average traveller might do.
I was shocked when around an hour after landing, the lights in the airport shut off, and the security guard was ushering out the front door.
He mentioned there was a homestay across the street (which I was surprised because the only thing I saw was a small plaza). While still connected to the airport’s wifi, I checked out the homestay’s info and saw that they have 24 hour reception. I thought to myself, “I’m saved!”
Once I walked up the narrow staircase to the homestay, I realized that their version of “24 hour” reception meant putting a note on the door with a phone number to call to get in. Which would have been OK, if I had a SIM card in my phone, or if I had some kind of internet connection. But alas, I had just arrived in Malaysia that night, and so didn’t have many options. Either stand on the side of the deserted road praying for a taxi, or wait in the staircase hidden, praying until their staff may turn up. I chose the latter, which left me with many hours of having nothing to do, while sitting on the hard ground.
After I read my camera’s instructional manual in all three languages, and attempted to meditate and cool my nerves for a while, I decided to start writing. And thus, the first chapter of my memoir was born.
Here’s some bits and pieces from that first chapter.
There is a certain feeling I get sometimes when I meet other backpackers. Some of them come off as pretentious and exclusive to me, which seems odd considering these are people who we perceive as open and easy going. These are people we imagine as laid back and relaxed—chill enough to keep your beer cool for hours. But, for some reason I feel uncomfortable when I see a group of people wearing hipstery clothes, a collection of festival bracelets on their arms, paired with a tattoo of some kind of map, compass or travel inspired quote.
I get the feeling that I don’t quite fit in, and that I’m being judged. I hear conversations of people boasting about where they’ve been, and how they visit all the ‘non-touristy’ areas, and they proceed to ask each other which countries they’ve scratched off their world map. If I told them I had been to Machu Picchu, would they think that’s too touristy? Would I all of a sudden not be cool enough to be a backpacker? It is almost as if they are in some kind of travelers contest, rather than simply traveling for the joy of it.
I have a hard time relating to this kind of competitive mentality, and try to sneak away from conversations when people start to rhyme off all their travelling achievements. Although we might be travelling in the same place, sometimes it feels as if the only similarity between myself and these backpackers is that our personal belongings are contained in a large dirty backpack. And that whether they like it or not, we are both definitely tourists.
I would like to clarify that even though I feel awkward in these situations, I have no problem with how anyone chooses to live their life. You have to be yourself, whatever that is, because literally no one else can do it for you. This is essential to enjoying and getting the most out of life. I apologize if using these stereotypes are awkward for you. If you are sitting there reading this and think I am incorrectly classifying you I am sorry, please don’t take this as a personal attack. I’m open to anyone I meet, no matter what they look like. So long as they treat me respectfully, I’m open to anyone, no matter how many cliché quotes are written in cursive across their limbs.
My real confession here is that I don’t actually want to be associated with the term backpacker. I’m really no wanna-be at all. Even though I certainly look like one as I jumble my oversized backpack onto a bus, I feel disassociated from a lot of the people I meet in hostels and backpacker bars.
When I hear bits of slurred conversation, “It’s so beautiful here!” or, “I love the people here! The culture is so lovely!” I can’t help but think to myself, “have you even spoken to a single local here or seen how they live? Maybe in drinking local beer, you absorb the culture simultaneously without actually experiencing it with your other senses. On my next trip, I might blind fold myself so I can absorb the culture solely by smell.
I keep wondering how someone can travel to the other side of the planet, and believe they’ve seen the full picture from hanging out at a beach bar, smoking weed with other travellers. Why do I feel so disconnected from so many other backpackers? Maybe it’s because I don’t travel with a ukulele or wear parachute pants. Alright, I may be taking this a little far, I’m a little wound up. Remember, I wrote this while I was hiding in a staircase in the middle of the night.
Those of us who are lucky enough to have the means and access to travel, are all different people, and will travel differently based on their interests. In reality, I see nothing wrong with how people travel, even if it is just getting drunk and taking cliché photos with other privileged travellers. Everyone has the right to spend time how they wish, and they should do what makes them feel happy. What does make me uncomfortable, is when these kinds of travellers claim that what they love about travelling is experiencing new cultures, and getting to know local life. These are things I can’t imagine experiencing while sitting beside two foreigners having a pint.
Social media and the internet have had a massive impact in all aspects of life, travel included. It influences how we perceive our travel experiences: before, during, and after our trips. The internet has become a very useful tool in planning and coordinating trips abroad which I take advantage of all the time. The more recent use of social media platforms such as Instagram though, have taken on a whole new role in influencing our decision making and thought processes.
Where we decide to visit, what we do, what we eat, and even what we think about while we’re touring around these places are all somewhat influenced by what we see on social media. Are we choosing experiences that truly interest us? And of those experiences we choose, is it as authentic as it was portrayed by those images on social media? I want us to consider how social media affects our decisions about travel, and how it alters our thoughts when trying to enjoy our time abroad.
What drives us to get on a plane, bus, or train, and go somewhere far from home? How much of that has come from our own interests rather than outside influences? How and why are people travelling, and what do they claim to be getting out of it? I want to consider what we can gain from travel and how it can, and maybe should, change us internally. There are many useful things we learn while we travel. For example, you become very resilient to discomfort, which brings me back to that night in the staircase in Borneo.
What did I intend to accomplish in this solo-travel year abroad? This is a valid question, as I’ve realized that leaving home for a whole year alone is not something most people are willing to do. Understandably, most people (my mother included) expected me to have some kind of purpose. Honestly, I was taking advantage of the opportunity to travel while not having work or school obligations. It felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity to go on a year-long adventure. I had no plans for any epiphanies, or realizations which would bring me clarity for what I wanted to do with my life.
When I talk to people about travelling solo, some often say, “Travelling alone is the best way to find yourself,” or, “That’s so great you are doing this, it’s the best way to discover who you really are.” When I hear this I have to put in full effort to stop my eyes from rolling back into my skull, and instead nod my head in agreement. This was under no circumstances my intention in travelling solo, nor was I expecting to feel any different about myself after my adventures.
Although in the beginning I had no real intention or goal for my year abroad, writing this book was my purpose by the end. I hope that after reading this book your outlook on what travelling solo really means and what we gain from it broadens. How we view travel, and what we expect from it is largely influenced by what we see on social media. As tourism becomes more available and increases, how does that affect locals and their home lands? As our world becomes increasingly run by technology, the appearance of what we call ‘digital nomads’ becomes more common, and our opinion of their lifestyle is largely skewed. I hope to reveal some of the truths and realities behind what we are seeing on our screens.
This book is a written account of some of the incredible and ridiculous moments I lived through, as well as an objective look on what is influencing us to travel, how we experience it, and what we can truly gain beyond ‘finding ourselves’.
It discusses the most important question we learn to ask while travelling, which is also the title of this book, “Why not?”
What began to bother me was the fact that people seemed to be in some kind of competition to be cool, tick off everything on their bucket list, and brag about to other people.
It felt strange to me, especially as I had collected so many fantastic memories of amazing people I met and learned from throughout that year.
This is why the idea of using a scratch map bothers me.
Both the ideas of conquering a list of countries, and the strange quest to “find yourself” are very personal gains. In my opinion the real value that one can gain from travelling, especially travelling solo, is how you change to become a better person for society and the people around you—not just for yourself.
Travelling brings to consider new normals, it forces you to endure discomforts, and it allows to become more openminded.
Adaptability, resilience, openmindedness, and tolerance—these are the ways in which we truly grow for the better after experience life on the other side of the globe. These are the topics that I will be discussing in my memoir, as I share some personal stories of my adventures and ridiculous moments I experienced throughout that year.
If you enjoyed reading this, subscribe to my email list! I will be posting something new every week, and sharing more excerpts and funny stories from my book as well.
Thanks so much for reading, and I wish you all the best on your future adventures!
Pingback: How Solo Travel Changes Your Perspective